Discovering My Purpose

Over the last 5 years I’ve built a successful business in the network marketing industry, and I’ve literally done it from the palm of my hand. Or should I say, from the sexy 6×3 inch hunk of metal and magic, that I hold IN the palm of my hand. Yes, I’m talking about my smartphone.

Our relationship had been built upon mutual adoration. It helped me create an income that allowed me to stay home with my boys. In return, I rewarded it with my time and attention. If I’m being completely honest, though, it was often a little too much time and a little too much attention. Things felt out of balance. It was time to re-evaluate and re-prioritize. 

I stumbled upon an ad for a yoga retreat taking place at Congress Hall in Cape May. It was described as an opportunity to Reset and Renew for the New Year. Even though I had never practiced yoga before, my curiosity was piqued. I didn’t know what crystal bowl sound healing, yin yoga, or chakras were. But a wine tasting experience was included, so I was optimistic that I would fit in just fine!

I grabbed one of my besties, who was also in need of some renewal, and we registered. If nothing else, we’d enjoy a weekend away (with wine!), and maybe even learn some things to help kickstart a happier 2018. Little did we know, that weekend would be the catalyst for radical positive change in both of our lives. Looking back a year later, I can say that it was the start of a spiritual awakening.

I arrived at the hotel on a snowy Friday. When I entered the lobby, I was greeted immediately by a sense of warmth and calm. It felt like a sanctuary. A refuge from the storm. It felt like home.

My eyes were drawn to an anchor that towered above the fireplace. It was bold, confident, and strong. I was so captivated that I dropped my bags so I could quickly snap a photo. I wasn’t exactly sure why, but I intuitively knew that I wanted to capture the moment. To document it in some way. Something inside me stirred. The weekend was going to be magical, and this was just the beginning.

A few hours later my phone died. Inexplicably. I tried restarting it, changing outlets and chargers, profanity, and prayer, but there were zero signs of life.

So I did what any modern mama living in the year 2018 would do——I freaked out!!!! I mean, what if I needed to Google something? What if my team or a customer needed to reach me? What if Daddy couldn’t find clean underwear for the boys?

After the initial panic fizzled, an entirely different emotion bubbled to the surface…exhilaration. I realized that unplugging was exactly what I needed. I would have never had the courage to power down completely on my own. But now, I had no choice. I could immerse myself fully in a weekend of self-care without distraction. Ahhhhh—-the freedom to be utterly and completely present??? Permission to simply BE??? Yes, please!

The possibility that this was a “sign” crossed my mind. But could the universe really be THAT powerful?? Capable of outwitting the all-mighty smartphone?? Hmmmm…I wasn’t convinced. I’m 110% certain of it now though. There are absolutely no coincidences in life.

What took place over the next two days was a journey inward. An excavation. Unearthing the most authentic, best version of me, hidden beneath layers of limiting beliefs, trauma, and fear.

I learned how to tap into my inner wisdom, and listen to my truth. I was challenged to answer life’s most fundamental questions, and at first, I struggled miserably. What is my larger purpose? What are my unique gifts? How can I use them to make the greatest positive impact? I had some work to do.

The backbone of the weekend was Yin Yoga. Guided by a divine instructor, I learned to breathe for the first time. I had been holding my breath for 40 years. Through yin yoga, which is an extremely slow, restorative practice, where poses are held for long periods of time, I was finally able to let go. It felt like the ultimate act of self-love. Doors that had been locked for years, were flung wide open. Fresh air flowed into spaces that had been stale and stagnant. Breath is life.

Our success coach led us through guided meditations and other heavenly exercises, focused on bringing our seven energy centers into alignment.  I had never even heard of chakras before, but found everything about them fascinating.

Because there are no coincidences in life, I was floored when Kate, one of the instructors, shared her personal story with the group. We were sitting next to each other on our yoga mats, and I began to weep.

We were both diagnosed with potentially fatal heart arrhythmias as young adults, and underwent heart surgery. I’ve struggled with anxiety about my health ever since. Kate, on the other hand, emerged from the experience stronger, and more resilient than ever. Amazing how a traumatic event can either paralyze or propel…

In that moment, I was inspired to take my life back. Thought patterns are choices, and I had the power to change the conversation. Fear kept me sitting on the sidelines for far too long. The time had come to step into my greatness. To play full out. To dazzle and shine.

The sacred soundtrack for the weekend was provided by a musician and her crystal singing bowls. Imagine immersing yourself in a sea of healing vibrational energy, and losing yourself in the waves. Believe me when I say, it’s as blissful as it sounds.

Some of you are probably reading this and thinking to yourself, “Whoa, this all sounds a little ‘out there’!” I totally hear ya—-keep reading though, I’m about to get to the really crazy stuff!

The second night, I had the most vivid dream. I bolted upright at exactly 3:33am, and I was covered in sweat. My fingertips were wrinkled, as if I had been submerged in water for too long. A powerful shift was taking place, but I couldn’t make sense of it on a conscious level.

I had been dreaming about a bright, white starfish, walking with urgency and purpose across the rocky sea floor. The scene was covered with colorful starfish, in every shape and size, but this one stood out. It had long, thin arms that were perpetually stretching, reaching, and searching.

As I journaled about it the next day, I had a divine moment of clarity. The starfish was me. My purpose is to reach out to help those in need. It always has been. Like a star in the night sky, my gift is to bring light and offer hope, especially in times of darkness. Yes!!! I’m a light bringer. A guide. THIS was me.

When it was time to check out on Sunday afternoon, my phone still wasn’t working. The front desk gal graciously offered to write out the step-by-step driving directions for me. We shared a laugh—-it was so Mapquest, circa 1998!!!! I walked over to the fireplace, to warm my hands while I waited.

I glanced upward and saw them. Thousands of tiny, white starfish, gathered in the shape of an anchor, stared back at me. I smiled. Of course. Thank you for the validation, Universe.  Message received loud and clear!

But there’s one last magical twist to share……I made it home, hugged my boys, and handed my husband my broken cell phone. He plugged it in. Not only did it come to life immediately, the battery was fully charged at 100%.

Wink wink, universe.  Namaste. 🙏